i call it idiocrasy

lately, i haven't had any lovey-dovey feeling left in me. zero. nothing. i'm at the highest level of cynicism right now. anything that resembles love, grosses me out.

when watching romantics movies, i used to smile the whole way and i'll say 'awww' at the end of it when they live happily ever after. and if they don't, i'll be sympathetic and probably cry over it.
but now, when i'm watching, i'll have this look -_- throughout the movie and when it's finished i'll say 'tu je ke? ek eleh'.

i'm not a fan of love songs anymore. i used to listen tentatively and go deep into the lyrics, and imagine the songs were written based on my life. now, i listen to the music in the background rather than the lyrics. i'm focused more on the piano or the guitar or the drums or the strings than the singer itself. for lyrics that i listened to, most of the time i'll say 'heh, takde la best sangat'.

if i hear people tell stories about their love life, how they miss or love their significant other, i'll have this smirk face in my heart and have this kind of choked laugh and say 'haha, kids nowadays'. or if i read somewhere, a blog for instance, that talk about these touchy-feely stuff, i would be reading with this face -_- and say 'eww, apahal gedik sangat?'

but of course, my cynicism is only in my head. i don't go around telling people how idiotic they sound to their faces. am i maturing?... to the state where i can say 'they're young, they'll learn'? or am i going backwards?... to when a little kid hears the word love, she just wanna say 'yuckk'?

what the fret is wrong with me? i'm enjoying this for now... but i'm sure someday i'll miss the-more-vulnerable me.



.

Just when you thought.

Life is actually pretty funny, when you give it a chance.
In fact, I'm laughing right now, in my heart.
I know you can't remain happy for too long, or you might jinx it.

But can I just enjoy it while it lasts? please?





ps : thank you.

sleep on it

'All that chasing and running, chasing and running, chasing and running, who needs it. When i met my wife, it was easy breezy from day one. Love shouldn't be hard...

But what do I know. I've only been married for 65 years.'

- from some old man on some tv series- :)

what i once feared

alternate

I was the one who said goodbye
I did.
I sat on the pavement while you fly
Oh yes I did.

Cause maybe in the future you're gonna come back
You came back around.
The only way to really know was to really let it go
And you came back
to me.

I was the first to let it go
But I knew
I knew if you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I knew I've got to let them go

I washed away
I washed away everything till you come home to me


Cause maybe in the future you're gonna come back
You came back around.
The only way to really know was to really let it go
And you came back
to me.



now i know, maybe.. just maybe, i don't really want you back.



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