Love

i went to the hospital yesterday to undergo a surgery. surgery apa jgn tanya. jgn risau, minor surgery je, no biggie. hospital tu nama dia University Hospital, Kuala Lumpur. tapi yg peliknya bukan dia dekat Petaling Jaya ke? Petaling Jaya tu KL ke? ok soalan bangang, let's move on.

i'm not very familiar with hospitals, to tell you the truth. i can't even remember the last time i went to one. all i know was the last time i had a surgery was when i was six years old, when i broke my arm. even then, i was too young to remember anything. so when i went there yesterday, i was in awe. selama ni tgk hospital dlm tv je, dlm grey's anatomy and house. i was excited to see all those different departments. ada mcm2 jenis clinic - pediatric, gynecology, orthopedic, psychiatric (this is a scary one). i know i sound insane, mcm org batak gile. but looking at the surroundings, the people, the life, i fell in love. actually i was in love dah lama dah, i've been going to checkups since May. but yesterday, i fell deeper.

before the surgery, the nurse had to stick a needle at the back of my hand for the fluids and anesthesia. i remember thinking 'besarnya jarum, boleh ke cucuk. mesti kena tonyoh- tonyoh ni'. but nasib baik tak, relax je dia cucuk. sakit la jugak, but not bad. i was so fascinated, i actually watched the needle going under my skin into my vein. then it was time to go to the operating room. as i walked in, there was the operating table, all the machines, i was like 'whoa cool, mcm grey's anatomy!' and in there, there was two medic students waiting to observe the procedure. diorang mcm budak2 takut2 je. rasa nak je cakap 'apasal la takut2? korang nak jadi doktor lah. confident la sikit' (cey cey).

so i was lying there, wearing an oxygen mask, my body filled with wires. i was breathing pure oxygen.. so refreshing. then doktor bius tu pun inject the anesthesia at the back of my hand. dia cakap 'ni sakit sikit, tahan eh'. so yeah, memang sakit pun, but nothing that i can't handle. i literally can feel it running trough my veins. and the next thing i know, i was asleep. tak perasan pun bila i closed my eyes. i was actually hoping for kalau jadi mcm dlm movie 'Awake', tiba2 terjaga tengah2 surgery. haha. but unfortunately, it didn't happen. i was sound asleep. siap mimpi lagi, tapi tak ingat pulak mimpi apa. best gila tidur dlm bius. pastu about one hour later, the nurse woke me up. for a split second there, i didn't remember where i was. after my brain gain function, baru la teringat oh, baru habis surgery. i opened my eyes and rasa penat gila. i was wondering mcm ni ke perasannya bila tgh high. rasa terhuyung-hayang. rasa mcm dah bangun, tapi tak boleh bukak mata. mcm baru bangun tidur, tapi mengantuk lagi. oh and, sejuk nak mampos! menggigil rasanya. i think the anesthesia kot yg buat rasa mcm tu. plus the air-cond lagi.

after a while, the anesthesia wore off. rasa nak tidur lagi, tapi tak boleh dah. kenapa la dia kejut tadi, nak tidur dah tak best dah. so i just lie in bed waiting to be less loopy so i could go home. after seven hours at the hospital, i was ready to go. i walked through the hospital, and it was lunch time. and nama pun university hospital, so ramai la students berkeliaran. how to know if they're students? mereka akan pakai lab coat dan pakai bag sambil pegang buku. and then i see doctors with different colours of stethoscope. ada stethoscope warna pink! oh, and ada Secret Recipe dalam hospital. lek je. ramai pulak tu org makan kat situ - of course, hospital kan penuh dengan orang kaya.

it was nice to actually see the idea of myself becoming one of those doctors walking around. now my ambition will not be because of watching house and grey's anatomy anymore, but because i lived through it. i'll be back in six years, and not be the one on the operating table. i have to write this down so that when the time comes and it gets rough where i'll probably want to give up... i'll be reminded of this day - the day when i realised i belong at the hospital.






ps : the incision of the surgery is still in bandage. i can't wait to open it and see the stitches.