Alhamdulillah

perghh. tak pernah pernah aku menangis depan org, tiba2 tadi boleh nangis sampai tersedu-sedu pulak. lek je. tapi that was exactly how i felt, nak tahan mcm mana. mesti org nampak org ingat aku tgh gembira. lek je org datang peluk peluk aku ckp congrats senyum senyum. hati aku tgh hancur lebur mereka boleh senyum pulak. takpe, mereka tidak tahu.

ataupun mesti org nampak org ingat 'ape budak ni, dapat result bagus pun nak nangis, gedik gile'. i'm sorry to the people who weren't as fortunate as me to see me like that. aku ada expectations aku sendiri, ada aim aku sendiri. it didn't go the way i wanted. seperti kata baem 'kau, kau. aku, aku.'

tapi aku tetap bersyukur. Alhamdulillah. banyak surprises ada dlm slip aku tu. the ones i wanted to be high, turned low. and the ones i expected to be low, went high. oh akaun ku, i love you.. but i will never attempt to learn you anymore. i literally went crazy struggling with akaun. gile dog aku cakap. and now, it pays. from fail to A... (dah lama teringin nak ckp mcmtu)

i don't regret anything, not even one bit. kalau aku boleh patah balik masa, buat balik spm, i wouldn't change a thing. aku berpuas hati dgn semua usaha aku. sgt berpuas hati. takpelah, kalau dah ini yg ditakdirkan untuk aku, aku terima. (well, maybe not yet) kalau dah setiap minit air mata rasa mcm nak keluar, nak buat mcm mana. i can't lie to myself. sekarang aku nak habiskan dulu kesedihan. maybe esok esok nanti baru aku boleh terima la kot.

i expect nothing less than the best from myself. gile cakap besar, kan. takpe.. kau, kau. aku, aku.


8A's Alhamdulillah