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i can see someone keep coming to my blog.
hi there.
apa kata leave a comment once in a while?
thank you for reading.

20:10.20.10.2010

on 20.10.2010, around pukul 20:10 (betul, tak tipu. actually tak ingat exactly pukul berapa. tapi lebih kurang la)




at 20:10 on 20.10.2010, i shed tears for the first time since i've been here. and i've been here for exactly one month and a day. and no, it wasn't planned. at all.





i thought i could last longer than a month, but i guess i'm not that strong after all. sebelum ni selamba je, takde feeling langsung. tiba2 boom! and i blame the internet. rasanya kalau i kena campak kat deserted island for years without any connection pun boleh bertahan kot. technologies can be detrimental.




tapi takpe, the tears showed that i'm still human. not the cynical-dead inside-robot i'd always thought i was. though it did take some time, i'm glad to know that i'm still fragile.





please don't tell me you miss me. because of course, i miss you ten times more.

Despite

despite that i'm far away from home,
despite that i'm surrounded by the the people and the things that aren't 'me',
despite that i've gained weight (a lot),
despite that i got bitten by insects sampai my skin berbintik2 byk gile kalah chicken pox,
despite that i'm slightly intimidated by other people's way of studying,
despite the fact that the guy i have a crush on still doesn't know i exist,
despite that this place is not as what i imagined,
despite that i'm surrounded by smelly garbage everywhere,
despite that i'm on the verge of dehydration,
despite that i miss everything back home,
despite that sometimes i even miss myself,


as of this moment right now, i am happy.
because despite every terrible thing that occured, there are much greater things that came along with them.



.